Dead Plant Walking.

Did you know that Lowe's has a 365 day return policy on plants? 

I do.

When I buy a plant, I look for two things: 

1 - Does it have a tag on it that says any or all of the following words: hardy, tolerant, "plant of steel" (yes, they really have those), bulletproof, masochist

2 - When it does inevitably start to meet its demise, how quickly will it show signs? (in other words, how long will I be able to delay the trip of shame back to Lowe's to return it)

With the exception of two or three plants over the course of my adult life, I have killed every green life I have purchased. And I should note - I have had to purchase them. No one in their right mind would willingly bestow a plant on me when they know well and good that I'm going to kill it. Being brought over the threshold into my house or my office is like an express ticket to death row.

In fact, when I do go to purchase (or return) a plant and I have my two minions in tow, they will often cheerily inform the cashier that their mother is like a walking plant executioner. And I can't blame them. I am guessing that the Lowe's people pretty much know the fate of that plant when I intentionally verify (once again) the return policy every time I go there. 

It has gotten to an embarrassing point, though. Moments I am not proud of include being informed that I need to water a plant more than once a month and realizing that my lucky bamboo is not turning yellow because of the seasons changing. 

I now tape my receipts to the bottom of each plant just to make the transition process from grave to rebirth easier. My friends have even started stepping in out of the concern for plant welfare. I have had a plant repossessed or place into protective custody on more than one occasion. I have a very low rate of success in regaining possession. 

I can crochet. I can teach. I can write. I can paint and sew and drive a car and keep 2 children alive.

But my tombstone will most likely read: Plant Killer.

And the results are in...

Score one for me! Ok - so I actually scored a couple of good deals...and I have also figured out a few things:


1 - thrift stores are a lot more expensive than they were in the early 90's...there were no $4 velvet blazers in sight this time


2 - Shopping for clothes was almost impossible due to the amount they had out - and the lack of organization. I mean, yes, pants were with pants and shirts with shirts (grouped by gender) but that was about it. No similar sizes together...this is what made it the hardest. Oh well. I am a pretty casual jeans and t-shirt kind of chick anyways...and that is why god made target. $5 t-shirts (with labeled sizes) and sure-to-fit jeans all year long...(signing in awe....)


3 - They really do have sales at a thrift store! Who knew!? At this particular store, I guess they randomly mark products with numbers #1-7 and depending on the day of the week, you get items marked with that number HALF OFF (please note cute jar pictured above)!



In anycase - I scored two items in particular that I am very pleased with...one was the little candy jar (pictured at top) that says "sweet things in life are made with love". My boyfriend will be extra impressed with that find (insert sarcastic tone here) as we are trying very hard not to keep sweets and junk food in the house. (I should add that if it does not have whole grains, something kale-isn as an ingredient, and a protien count over 10g, it should probably be considered junk. That means you, Raisinettes and E.L. Fudge cookies...) But now I have such a cute little stoneware jar to hold sweets...so bring on the Skittles!!! best part - it was $3, but ON SALE for only $1.50!!


The other find was the beautiful bamboo/wood chips & salsa server...$3 (no sale - *tear*)...but still a great deal! It even came with a glass bowl to fit the dip/salsa slot...however, it did not make the picture as it is still soaking in its manditory 30 minutes boiling hot water & vinegar solution that i am convinced will take all yuckiness of the previous owners germs away...


So yes - chalk today up as a success. I will surely be back to that store in the future...I already have a few pinterest projects on the radar...

Gettin' Thrifty

Find me one person who HASN'T been affected by the economic crisis at hand...and I will give you $5.

Mind you, I don't have $5 to give...but I guess you could also look at it as that is a measure of how confident I am that everyone has been affected - even in super small ways.

That being said...I am going to hit up the local thrift store tomorrow. Not really sure what I am in the market for (a funky vase, a pair of jeans...who knows) but I would still like to go and check things out. And yes - I realize this is in total defiance of the "rules of thrifting"...

I can recall going as a teenager...I scored this awesome maroon velvet (men's?) blazer for like $4. Admittedly it was a bit of an odd choice for your typical 14 year old girl...but I loved that thing and wore it everywhere.

However, I haven't ever gone since. My mentallity had been "who needs a thrift store when you have the miracle that is target?" Ahh, how times (and bank account balances) have changed.

I will let you know what I find...